Loulou on the Oscars

I ADORE the Oscars! Usually, of course, I am right there with my A-list friends, styling or reporting or cheering, but this year, due to my still-single status, I have chosen to stay home and watch it on television, something I am told other people do every year. Of course, I am surrounded by fabulous girlfriends and eating fabulous food and wearing a fabulous frock, but still, I am at home, just like almost everybody else. This is what my life has come to.
But don't worry - I know that Loulou-Lovers the world over rely on my sharp fashion eye and keen insight every year during the world's most watched fashion event, the Oscars. So, since I have never been one to disappoint my legions of fans, here is my list of the top A-list looks of Oscar night, in no particular order:

1. Sandra Bullock in Vera Wang: Sandra's look was clearly inspired by one of my own memorable Oscar looks from a few years ago, but no matter: It was extraordinary then, and it's extraordinary now. She should always wear red.

2. Halle Berry in Marchesa: Before Halle had this dress, Loulou had it, and although I can't say she looks quite as flawless as I did in it when I wore it out on a big date night with Stephen pre-the-Valentine's Day debacle, she did look radiant and stunning, as always. I hope that I look like that when I am her age!

3. Gwyneth Paltrow in Calvin Klein: Sure, she has straight blonde hair and I have dark curly hair, but other than that (and the fact that I have brown eyes and am, ahem, petite) we are almost exactly the same person. Except, of course, that I am much younger. Anyway, I applaud her choice of this jaw-dropping dress. I couldn't have done it better myself. Well, maybe I could have... but whatever.

4. Camilla Alves: She is ALMOST stunning enough to be with Matthew McConnaughey. Almost. She's no Loulou, after all. But she was such a vision in this stunning dress that I have almost forgiven her for stealing Matt from me before we really ever had a chance. (We sat at the same table at a star-studded dinner a couple of years ago, and although I could tell by his occasional furtive glances that he was blinded by my beauty - and my Balenciaga gown - he was already committed to Camilla. I admire his faithfulness, of course, but I will always think of him as the one that got away.)

5. Mila Kunis: This is a girl who knows what she is doing. Of course, it's clear that she has taken a lot of style cues from Loulou, but who can blame her. The color, the cut, the hair - it's all perfect.