A Chink in the Armor

Last night, my boyfriend Bruce* and I were slow-dancing at a charity ball. I was in such a great mood, because I love good causes, and what’s more important than saving struggling fashion models? Plus, I was with Bruce, who is so smart, he must be a genius or something. He has two careers. He started out as a model and now he’s also an actor. Last week, he even had a walk-on role on The Bold and The Beautiful! Anyway, we were dancing when Bruce casually asked me why I wasn’t wearing perfume. At first I laughed, certain he was joking. I have never been known to leave the house without my top-secret, custom-couture signature scent, Eau de Loulou, which was blended for me by Serge, a master “nose” in Paris. But Bruce wasn’t joking. The Eau de Loulou was lost on him. Clearly, something is wrong with his sense of smell, because Serge and I spent nearly two years perfecting Eau de Loulou’s strong-yet-subtle-yet-sophisticated-yet-sweet blend of over 732 exotic essences. How can a good-looking nose like Bruce’s not detect my signature scent? (Bruce’s nose is so chiseled that he was actually voted “Best Nose” at his modeling agency.) To look at it, you’d have no idea it was so seriously flawed. Clearly, I had a dilemma. Were my beautiful boyfriend Bruce and my signature scent, Eau de Loulou, a fragrance which captures my very essence, inherently incompatible? What does this say about our future? And how was it possible that I had made it this far in our relationship (we’ve been dating nearly 9 days) so blind to Bruce’s faults? I need to solve this problem soon. My skin is suffering…

*Some names have been changed to protect the famous.